out-voted

I was sitting in "the little park", (the one with the pirate ship), at about 4pm today, having a conversation with a 39-week pregnant mother of two, about the merits of pacing oneself so there is enough energy left for the childrens' bedtime. I can relate to this, as so often have I had a lull of energy round about that time. I didn't manage it today. I was in bed at 7pm, and called to the boys at 8 telling them it was bedtime and they took themselves off to bed. Joy called me to ask if she could stay a bit later to see a new pony and I said that was fine, as long as she had a lift back before bedtime. I just sent her off to bed, slightly disgruntled, explaining that I was tired and stressed and needed some time on my own, after lying in bed too wound up to go to sleep. I then relented, on finding the jeans I had bought her in Oxfam, and took them up to her, apologising. The tiredness could have had a lot to do with the two miles I walked, to school and back this afternoon, which seems to be more than my ME-induced exercise intolerance can take. (More on this another time, I think.) The stress was a lot to do with the meeting that broke in half the first mile of my walk...

The meeting took place today, which was to decide on whether to allow the take-over of the ailing playgroup by a private business, to turn the Arts Centre into a preschool for 4 mornings a week. Despite my bringing in a recently dormant member of the committee, who someone had conveniently forgotten to inform me (as secretary of arts centre), had expressed the desire to remain on the committee and continue to receive emails, I was outvoted, in what can only be described as a fiasco or foregone conclusion. The chair had phoned round the older members of the committee, who had all agreed on the decision. The chair was patiently listened to while he spouted his misinformed, misjudged opinions. His only reasons for allowing the takeover, were that it was a "continuum" of the playgroup, and that it would help the centre apply for funding (which is not necessarily true). The older committee members nodded in agreement. I waited for my turn to comment on what he had said, whilst taking minutes.

Next came my returned committee member full of lots of creative ideas for filling the centre with community-led, family based activities, which all complied with the vision we had all agreed on a year ago, including a community cafe, activities for young children alongside their parents, also things for teenagers and old people. Home-educators who are already active in the centre voluntarily running crafts markets and cafes, when they can get a rare slot, were cited as people who had expressed an interest in managing these activities. This was all accompanied with impatient sighs from the older committee members. (When I say older, I am referring to old hippies who ran wholefood co-ops and went to art college in the 1970's and 80's).

I think I had a minute or possibly two before I was shouted down, by all of the older members in turn. By the time I had the chance to make some points, referring to the minutes of the meeting with the playgroup, (trying to remain calm there) after several attempts, one of the members left (20 minutes into the meeting) saying she had already made her vote. One of the other members actually agreed with everything I said about government moves to force single parents to work and place children in childcare. I didn't actually use such emotive words as that, I was trying to focus on the positive of the alternative, ie, community based, inclusive local facilities, but she was aware of my opinions. The Chair actually was shouting at me and got personal, asking me where my money came from, which I refused to answer, as it is irrelevant. I was trying to remain calm, get my points across, whilst keeping minutes. It was impossible.

I had not been informed that this meeting had a time limit, but after half an hour we were hustled into a vote, which wasn't done officially, just everyone knew where everyone else stood.
The chair mentioned something about a consensus, which he obviously doesn't know the meaning of ("Consensus decision-making is a group decision making process that not only seeks the agreement of most participants, but also the resolution or mitigation of minority objections. Consensus is usually defined as meaning both general agreement, and the process of getting to such agreement.") I pointed out that a vote of 2:3, where there are wildly differing opinions, and no resolution of these differences has been attempted, is not a consensus decision. Somewhere in the constitution it is probably stated that decisions are to be made my vote, although this has never happened in the last few years that I have been on the committee.

The Chair even asked me if I was doing taichi tomorrow, to which I shook my head and said I wasn't speaking to him. Not because I didn't get my own way, which I could just about handle, but the process by which it was achieved... did anyone hear the Archers the other day?

It was all a bit of a blur, and I cannot bring myself to look at my notes, but I do remember when the issue was raised of children being better off with their families, indeed families needing the support to be able to do things together, the government line of children being better off in pre-school childcare seemed to be actually believed by some of the members! "Well, they have done lots of research into it and have statistics... it's just your opinion that it's not true..." Which is when I pointed out that me and F were the only people on the committee that had young children of out own, and are therefore in touch with that part of the community, as well as having trained and worked in education. We were not listened to. The younger, newer members of the committee, the ones who have put in hours of unpaid work, even though we don't have much time on our hands. The old hippies got their status quo.

I haven't lost faith in humanity. There is an AGM next month... I wonder who I will be voting in for Chair. This may take years. But I am still quite young! I have obviously considered resigning. This whole fiasco has cost me quite a lot of stress and precious energy. ME doesn't respond very well to stress. And come September I will be voluntarily running a centre which houses a privately run preschool. I'm not sure if I can cope. But my inner determination says that all is not lost, not yet...

Anyway, I have to clear my mind of such soul-destroying thoughts before tomorrow. While I was de-stressing in the sunshine I received a text, a nice text from a nice person, and I have a date. Yes, I said date, and this time, this time, I have a feeling...

government dirty work

I'm just in a bit of a dilemma at the moment. I am on the small committee of a community centre, which is basically a hall with kitchen and storage facilities. There is a playgroup there which originally moved there when they were booted out of the council building which was no longer safe. In recent years they have gained Ofsted registration and started providing childcare provision using the Nursery Education Grant. This has now been withdrawn, as the playgroup has been floundering and has failed to pass the regulations.
I just received a forwarded email. Basically the council has approached a third party to recue the playgroup so they can continue to offer "sessions" of childcare/early years education for the NEG. This sounds to me like I am being asked to do the government's dirty work for them and I am not happy about it at all. The third party want to come in and extend the amout of time the playgroup already have and are using government doublespeak to justify their actions. What's in it for them, I wonder?
The community centre is basically a hall which can be hired out to community groups, arts classes, etc, and any one group using a huge block of time takes this provision away from the rest of the community. I feel that there is enough government funded childcare in the area, and if there isnt and the council wants more, say 100% of over 2's or 3's, then it's up to them to provide a building to house this, and not us.
The problem is the rest of the committee just don't get what problem I have with the playgroup- "well they will provide revenue", which we are not short of, by the way. I am tempted to resign if this goes ahead, but feel like I should really stick my heels in on this one. I use the room to do taichi classes and put on "family learning" events, so it will be difficult for me to just walk away.

Here is a chopped up excerpt from a frantic email I wrote to the committe last night. I havent been able to calm down since...

"I think this should be considered very carefully as it is beginning to sound like something that may not be appropriate or benificial to [the communty centre]. What was once [a] 'Playgroup' is now being refered to as a 'Preschool', the difference being that between a group of parents renting a hall to meet up with toddlers, and a government funded childcare/educational provision. Ok this has gradually developed over many years, and I know there has been some funding available here in the past. I'm just wondering how much this is really needed:

"the parents of children attending are more able to take up employment, meet others, attend an event elsewhere and their children benefit from socialising with others, accessing early years educational provision and care. They are all members of said community".
Ok in [this town] there are 6 nursery schools, 3 pre-school playgroups, 4 day nurseries and 14 childminders offering registered pre-school childcare. I'm not sure how many parent and toddler groups there are, or places parents can take their children, not that many.

How many community centres are there?
...offering flexible space to many varied community groups, and classes, with endless possibilties... not too much red tape

Are we running a community centre or a school?

I know the bulding is owned by the Labour party but this all sounds a bit New Labour to me...
ie: "accessing early years educational provision and care"... presumably most children already have this, at home.
"parents... are more able to take up employment, meet others [er children stop you doing this?], attend an event elsewhere" !!!

I'm just saying that yet more government funded childcare isn't necessarily what people need or want. There seems to be this assumption that it is a good thing and you cant knock it, but the benfits to children are highly questionable.

Another thing, which I'm not sure how true it is now, but the [ ] playgroup was the only place locally offering childare within the government funding allowance (Nursery Education Grant). They were trying and failing to do the impossible, ie provide quality childare within the budget of the NEG, which all other providerers require a top-up fee. No wonder Calderdale doesn't want them to shut down: you couldn't complan that the NEG wasn't enough as "well [ ] Playgroup offers childcare for free (ie within the NEG)".
I really dont know why they ever bothered with the ofsted thing in the first place- it can be a playgroup without having to leave your chiildren, if you want to leave them take them to a proper nursery-there's plenty of them. (sorry IMO it's never been a proper nursery- I took my 2-year old there once and he was told if he wanted to go to the toilet he had to point to a piece of paper with the word toilet written on it- he was 2. I never went back to find out whether she got her NVQ, the person in charge). OK maybe I'm wrong, maybe [this town] is crying out for yet another pre-school? But is [this community centre] the right venue?

Basically it feels to me that the nursery would end up taking over [the community centre], which I think would be a shame to lie down and let New labour get its way, ie all children in childcare as young as possible and parents back to work. No fun, no family learning, no community cafe, no community centre.

Am I over-reacting? well, I'm just wondering what this means exactly:
"...equipment and facility provision and most importantly, security and hopefully extension of the rental and tenureship of the space" "

I would very much appreciate any helpful advice- I am feeling a bit alone with this. Cheers.

reading between the lines

The boys have been storming ahead with their reading since they started school in September. I've been making an effort lately to remember to read with them every evening and really it's a pleasure as they are doing so well with it and seem to enjoy it.
The funny thing is that this is my fourth time round with the Oxford reading tree and I should know all the books off by heart by now, although, in reality they're only just beginning to sink in. Although on some subconcious level maybe I was influenced unduely by this model of a family and ended up with a girl and two boys. At the moment Biff, Chip and Kipper, coincidentally or not, are approximately equivalent in age to Joy, Fergus and Freddie (ok there are probably some experts out there that know that Biff and Chip are actually twins, but look: Biff (the girl) is bigger than Chip)...
In today's adventure Freddie all learned about the perils of letting dad attempt to go shopping (he tries to be domesticated but somehow always gets it a bit wrong), in The Foggy Day. And Fergus read all about Biff's failed battle against the sexual discrimination imposed on her by not only her teacher, but King Arthur's knights, and the Magic Key itself, who turned her into a damsel in distress when all she wanted to be was a knight. Meh...
Yes, we had a brief discussion about this afterwards... the conclusion being that this was written in 1993 and possibly we have moved on a bit since then, hopefully...
And yes, the reading was fine!

my room

Well I haven't been literally hibernating all the time, but I have been doing quite a bit of sleeping and resting. Fortunately I got my room finished before I got the post-viral fatigue that I am hopefully beginning to come out of.

Here it is before... not sure if this picture shows off the full glory of its horribleness. I had to replace two sections of floorboard before sanding. I wasn't sure weather to sand or paint the floor until I had applied several thick layers of paint to the mural-clad walls, but I think I made the right choice...

Here is my lovely floor, which the neighbours objected to the noise of my little sander on a Saturday afternoon, in three 1-hour bursts. I can see hills out of the large south-facing window from my bed.

...and with some of my clothes! It was quite a job getting the chest in that alcove, but I have a lot of determination. of course it looks a bit smaller with the bed in it- I think I need another picture here...

Course I'm onto the next room now...

junk art

Well six weeks is over so I finally came out of hibernation and spent the spring equinox doing a recycled plastic bag weaving workshop. I had been asked to do this at a weekend of boater's workshops, but I'd been so busy and tired that I didn't really get my head around it till Friday, when I had two kids off school and one at school, so I spent the morning rushing round doing all the necessary...
It was so sunny in the afternoon that I had my shorts on in the front garden while I prepared and painted the chair frames that have been sitting around outside, gradually deteriorating and generally getting in the way. They had kind of just emerged anyway, as on Monday I had tidied up round the side of the house so it could be measured up for a new bike shelter.

Anyway, so, fornutately I had a willing helper to experiment with the weaving, in the form of Joy, who wasn't really that ill, but needed a bit of a rest from school, I thought ;-)



I was already and prepared by Friday evening and turned up with a car-load of stuff which I had easily acquired from the back of various shops: cardboard, plastic bags and bike wheels. Friends had kindly donated their spare carrier bags too. But the stuff ended up staying in the car till Saturday morning for one reason or another. I actually called in at the Lego-building workshop in the morning, which I am supposed to help out at, but didn't know about this one so it did kind of clash. It was sunny enough to put my shorts on when I arrived- fortunately, really, for doing an outdoor workshop. The wind did get up a bit later on though and I wasn't hardy enough to keep them on all day.

So, anyway, here I am again, doing crafty workshops for families... so glad I agreed to do it, it makes a change from being stuck in my box.

I had a useful and willing workshopee who spent hours on her chair- it is first strung across with jute garden twine. I perfected a great technique for cutting up bags into long continous strips, which I did several demonstrations of... people were quite inspired to think of ways of re-using all their used plastic bags. The chairs were just an example of a practical application, which I've been thinking about doing for ages!

Someone even asked me if I also weave yogurt, which, as you know, I do all the time!

Hibernation

Well the groundhog he say six more weeks of winter, so that means more hibernation for me! I have been spending rather a lot of time in bed this winter, with colds, etc, but it's what I seem to need... I am still trying to shift the one I got a couple of weeks ago, got better enough to go out for 2 birthday nights out, one of which involved singing a duet with my birthday-sister Dawn, which turned out well, I think...

Well, I really cannot wait to be better and in good health, after 4 months of cold after cold- I have now started a health-kick, which includes no stimulants and lots of vitamins! Must get round to some fresh juices too...
Yep, have never really been fully recovered since the kids started school, which is ironic, as I did it for my own health as much as anything... I suppose the routine of having to get up and walk 4 miles per day, without changing my bedtime has finally taken it's toll- and I'm having to go to bed much earlier now, which does fit in with the not- drinking thing, which I restarted on Feb 1 after the Jan 1 proved impossible!
Talking of hibernation- I have been hibernated from the HE webring too, as there doesn't seem to be much point on me being on it, although I have not given up on HE altogether, I am not doing it at the moment...
Well, except when the school closes, like today, due to snow, and I end up with the world and his little boy round at my house!!! Not that I mind- it's nice to feel a useful member of society for a change!

O and, in case you weren't paying attention, I was referring to Groundhog Day, which was yesterday, which is Imbolc, or the mid-point between winter soltice and spring equinox...
so Happy Imbolc and watch out for those first signs of spring!

not bad for a Monday

Yeah, well, not a bad Monday, I suppose...

I set off with good intentions, having woken up late, as my alarm wasn't working, ie Fergus's watch was slow and he didn't bring me a cup of tea until five past eight... with a car full of stuff for the tip and shopping boxes. I got as far as the builder's merchants, after dropping the boys off, and suddenly needed a cup of coffee... So I stopped off at Sean's boat, which was nearby, and I had left my gloves there ;-) So, after a coffee and a chat and driving Sean back to Hebden, I reallised I needed a second breakfast... and then I was nearly home... so I decided to do the rat-proofing and shop later.

And I got utterly distracted at the guitar shop as I was walking back to my car... *drool* must have been there at least half an hour... I fell in love with a cedarwood semi-acoustic, which is...ahem...in the sale!

So, after a long and painful discussion last night about who I was going to get to fill in the holes for me, I just mixed up some cement and did it myself. (Go girl! you can do it!)
And, I found a lovely little plane, while I was looking for a trowel, which I didn't find, but found a flat thingy, good because Marky pinched mine. O thank heaven for exes, who leave you little presents to find in the future... ? (O jeez, I must have my rose-tinteds on today!)

So that's how I came to be planing the shed door to make it fit in the falling SNOW, as big as, well, this has been bugging me all day- what was it as big as? feathers? no, bigger... golf balls? well, that size, but obviously flatter and lighter! and they were going down the back of my trousers when I decided to cleverly adjust the plane, my fingers all red with cold and wire wool scratches, and covered in flakes of paint and snow.

Well, funny how I've been meaning to do that for ages... maybe I was inspired by the fact that Sean had made himself a whole new bed since I had last been there, which was only Friday night. And I hardly did anything all weekend, well I was resting :) But I have, with an hour here and an hour there, managed to just about finally finish moving stuff into the boy's new attic room and out of their old room, which, more importantly, is going to be MY room! The last bit was an enourmous pile of dollies and their beds/clothes, etc, which I went through with Freddie, whittling it down to... well, 3/4 of its size... eek! well, there's plenty of room under the eaves and it's sweet that he still wants dollies. He has a girl one and a boy one. which seemed to be his favourite - fortunately I found some dungarees (which he kept calling "tangerines") that fit.

O yeah and here's our new cat... she doesn't have a name yet, or a purpose, except for lying completely motionless on the sofa, so that even a slow shutter speed cannot detect any movement. Her other favourite past time is, of course, looking up at me and saying "Biscuits? can I have some proper food please, and some milk".

special guests at new year... while the cat's away

Here are some random pictures of new year.

We have survived the first two days back at school and I feel in control, I think: I have done washing, put the kids to bed, facebooked, and will be in bed by 11, all being well.

Yesterday morning I thought I'd never get up. I hadn't been sleeping properly since new year's eve, when I as up till 4.

Also there was the rat problem- noisy rats, keeping us awake at night. I discovered them a few weeks ago, pulled the plinths off the kitchen cupboards and cleaned everything out, and got a cat. So far so good. Then the cat ran off. And back they came. I actually saw one in the kitchen and that was it- I called in the DIY man to fill all the holes in the kitchen walls. Sor far so good, or so I thought... a few days later on news years day, when my kitchen was full of people, I had a special guest appearance making scratchy noises in the wall, but now higher up. And then they were under the bath... I thought I had to wait till the council was open, so cowered all weekend, after seeing one upstairs. (I still hadn't properly recovered from the flu at this point.) I moved all the children up to the attic and emailed a private pest control company in Keighley. They responded very quickly and came on Monday morning. So that is that, I hope. I really didnt want to use poison, but that is the only way, apparently.

Oh by the way, the council don't do it for free, it cost the same as the ones I got in. There is still a bit of noise, but not much- I can sleep, and Joy's back in her room now. The boys are staying in the attic now- it's finished! Just need to take the bed frames and bigger stuff up... manana...

And as for the cat... he was from the cat protection league, and had mental health issues, and I had to let him out after a few days as he was doing my nut, and I haven't seen him since. Someone actually phoned today after seeing the poster. I have already knocked on all the neighbours. But this was on the street at the back, which we are separated from by our garden and a huge communal garden and allotments. i went up there with Freddie this evening with more posters and knocked on a few doors, and had a snoop around some sheds. I had actually given up, knowing he is a ferral cat. The cat people told me I had to get a catflap, after the event, but I explained that this was not practical (I had already told them about the rats, and that was why I wanted him) (EF dont you have a cat?) So they said they were going to come and pick up the cat!!! I did point ut that they may have a problem finding him. I am considering going over to Haworth Cat Rescue, and being a bit more discerning, ie, don't just choose one that looks cute in the picture, and when you go to pick him up he is the one growling behind the sofa!!!