non-day

Anyway, it got better. Tuesday afternoon I got out and planted some more willow in the garden. (I do have pics somewhere..). That would normally have been enough to snap me out of whatever I was in, but after a couple of hours I gave up, leaving my secateurs (so how on earth do you spell it?) to rust in the garden. But I did make it to taichi.

Wednesday was ok. We went down to the group meeting and nobody turned up, which gave me the opportunity to go and browse the fleamarket, where I bought a few random items of clothing, including a rare find: boytrousers for Freddie. Dawn and Ro came round after school for a catch-up/play. I went on a bit of a mad night out as the children weren't here in the evening, resulting in a bit of a non-day today.

I had a few conversations about the possibility of sending them to school. Not with the kids, I mean with my friends. I have been thinking about it for a long time. And on bad days I actually think they would be better off there than with me. But they are all quite ardently against it... what have I done? I'm just not quite sure whether my mental state can take it having them around all the time, feeling unsupported and that I'm not doing the best thing for them. Joy spends most of her time at the riding stables, which is good, and she's started doing some kind of certificates in riding and stablecraft. Can't remember what it's called, and I think she's not on level one yet. The boys just seem to bimble around, and play computer games most of the time, unless I take them out somewhere. Even when I was gardening they only lasted half and hour or so in the garden with me. I suppose it did rain, but I just went in the treehouse.

Well, I suppose I'd better do the dishes and get them in bed. I didn't mention today: I didn't do a right lot and the kids did as above. Did some songwriting. Meg made the tea as I wasn't capable. My new amp arrived, at the wrong address, and some more speakers, that didn't need to be fetched from St Helens, are arriving at 9pm. Not sure if I'm up to setting them up tonight- I need an early night. bla...