(morning...)
OK, I think it's the pressure of Fergus possibly starting school (and this is looking like less and less of a possibility the more I think about it) that has forced me to think about his "reading difficulties". My attitude so far has been that if he's later at starting to read it's not necessarily a problem if he's not at school. It's only the school thing, and also some pressure from his dad, that has forced me to worry about what might be the reason behind it and what I should be doing about it. I only mentioned the word dyslexia to an ex-teacher the other way, and the response was: why do I think it might be dyslexia? Well, I suppose, actually, it's an obvious assumption to make that this might be the reason. After all, dyslexia is, as far as I can make out, by far the most common reason for late reading/reading difficulties, about 85%, I read somewhere, not sure how true this is. All I got from the ex-teacher was: it sounds like ASD, and everything I said about Fergus she was just nodding and smiling as if she knew and she hasn't even met him! My friend D hasn't said anything about Fergus and ASD, even though she obviously has some experience of it.
So, anyway, I did a bit of research last night and looked at the indications for ASD, which Fergus seemed to have none of, and dyslexia, which he seems to have loads of. I also encountered a lot of writing suggesting that early diagnosis was imperative, as once a child gets behind he can never catch up, (which is what I get from my mum) and also the idea that if I child is taught using the "wrong" method, ie, balanced or whole word recognition, that can set up destructive patterns that can never be remedied.
(... later, in evening...)
So, anyway, none of this is actually helping; I'm just getting myself into a worried frenzy about the whole thing. I actually had a nice afternoon with the boys, after Joy had gone riding. We went for a walk into some different woods, which are only about the same distance away, basically at the other end of the fairly short road that our road runs off from the other woods, which is more of a river walk with some trees. This wood is a proper little wood, with a small stream that widens out into a mill pond and sluice, with stepping stones and ducks. The boys both rolled their trousers up and paddled and Fergus made a damn and threw sticks for the dog, while I leaned on a tree, and Freddie slid about climbing the muddy banks. we carried on to the top of the woods and looped back round to our top garden gate. Fergus thought we were going to end up in Old Town, but it was not too long a walk and we all agreed it would be good to do it again tomorrow!
Sorry no pics of woods today as someone unplugged my camera charger to charge their phone Gr!
Meg came round for tea, when I told her I was making pizza! and she and Si looked after the boys while I fetched Joy from the stables. Freddie is liking the 3 billy goats Gruff at the moment; I've gone back to the Ladybird Books Favourite Tales (series 606, o shut up you bookie bore!) Fairy Tales, in other words. We got bored of all the other books, but I ne'er tire of fairy tales. Fergus is still being read Tales of Redwall: Lord Brocktree.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Hmmm. Reading. Dyslexia. Hmm. Am trying to think of something helpful to say, having a son with dyslexia who went to school between the ages of 3 and 10 and who was extremely badly served by the system because of his dyslexia. Aged 10, he could barely read at all. Then with the help of a dyslexia specialist after dereg I tried all sorts of teazching methods and remedies with him to try and help. None of which helped one bit. Then we decided to deschool instead and forgot all about dyslexia and reading. Then, as if by magic, he suddenly learned and managed and got to grips with it all, on his own, with absolutely no input from anyone else. It turned out that was exactly what he needed: to be left alone to deal with it. But I don't know whether that would be true for every child.
I know people who were left to learn to read by osmosis at whatever age, and they've done ok. I don't think it has affected them either way. And I've seen children (possibly my own, in Ali and Zara's case) who were arguably taught to read at too early an age by schools and who might have been thereby put off the idea of being able to enjoy reading.
I thought, when I then had children who weren't going to school at all, that I'd be one of those home ed parents who never tried to teach reading and who never thought about it, but it turned out that I wasn't that kind of parent and Lyddie wasn't that kind of child. She wanted to learn and I wanted to teach her. Whether she can read or not matters to me. So we've done Letterland phonics and, although it's early days yet, I think that's been a Good Thing for her.
But she's a girl and she has no dyslexic traits, so that's easy to say. I think what I'm trying to say is that for some people, it matters more than others. Some people just aren't natural readers and their lives will be about something else, although they'll probably master the basics. They'll never want to sit down and read War & Peace. At least 2 of my 5 are like that.
Then there are the kids (like Lyddie) who can't get enough of it from day one, and every shade in between. Ali, for e.g., wasn't bothered at Fergus's age but is now an avid reader.
Boys are definitely different, and many of them seem to go through a phase for a few years, as older children, when they're not interested in doing anything academic or paper-based at all. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing, but it can be hard to understand and relate to I suppose, when you've brought up two girls first!
And school is all words-based, but life isn't really. We still need our painters and our furniture designers and our dry stone wallers and artists and explorers and martial arts teachers and warriors and sheep farmers etc. It seemed to me, in dealing with boys in the school system of that age (including my brother and my stepson, so 4 boys altogether of varying intellects and aptitudes), that it was always definitely a case of square pegs, big hammers and round holes.
LOL, sorry for long rambling comment. Hope it helps xx
PS, if his dad is putting the pressure on, tell him to teach him! (And good luck to him..!)
thanks Gill, it's all very useful to hear.
I think I am feeling a bit of pressure from the dad, well, a kind of tacit dissaproval, which can't help since they do spend time with him.
I wasn't really worried, though until I thought of sending them to school, and my reasons for that are more to do with me feeling burnt out; having been mothering for 21 years might have something to do with it, and kind of stuck and isolated. The thought of sending them just feels really wierd and wrong to me, and I've just been trying to rationalise why I feel like that. trying to imagine Fergus in a school scenario is almost impossible. Part of this is almost certainly to do with the terrible time Joy had when they had absolutely no clue how to help her to get used to it, just expected her to "fit in" (she was only 5 but course all of the other children had already been at school for 18 months). I was bullied into just leaving her, and after a few weeks she was wetting the bed, being violent and refusing to go to school. The school just said they would deal with any problems as they came up, but by that time the damage was already done, and continued, as far as I was concerned.
But all this worry has made me think things like, "I need some help", " don't know what I'm doing", "what if he needs some different approach to reading", which is the last thing I need, and is exaserpating the burnt-outness. So your comments are quite reassuring, thankyou.
I have 3 childen with dyslexia - one starts college next week and didn't read well until she was 12. School did not help this as they had until she was 9 to help sort it but didn't choosing to believe she was lazy and thick instead, and she came out a non reader who hated reading. I didn't do anything to help it either cos of her hatred/fear of reading/writing so we left it alone and she found her own way in the end. ( hurrah for Harry Potter) Boys ime tend to be later readers then girls - tho I am not wanting to generalise. I would not say a 8,9 10, 12 or 13 year old non reading boy automatically may have any underlying problems. Some are not interested in learning to read. I do see tho it would be a problem if that child was put into school where he would be expected to be able to read. If it makes you feel any better I can say I have used every single reading scheme/method there is including specialised dyslexia ones at great expense and none of them helped a jot with my nearly 10 year old barely reading ds. All that motivates him is if he needs to read whatever it is he want to read. Mainly instructions on his games at the moment. I am not worried cos I know he will,like his sisters get there in the end. So will Fergus.
cheers for that, Ruth- all encouraging comments, thankyou :)
I'm thinking that really no need to worry if he isnt in school, but really, as a non-reader at 8 there will be all sorts of probs at school, plus he doesnt want to go *at all* so maybe I'm just barking up the wrong tree even contemplting it.
My Ed-Psyc friend got in touch today though so maybe I can talk things through with her, too- she works in all the local schools so will know the ropes. So thats 2 appointments tomorrow:school ed psyc, and the home ed/funding applicaton!!!! (why do I have to make things so complicated?)
Post a Comment