things to do, eg sleep...

Joy did another horse show on Sunday and won four rosettes this time! Coming first in the Gymkana on "Spot", fourth in the obstacle course, a clear round in the 1' jump and through to the jump-off in the 2' jump on "Del-boy". I don't have any of my own pictures as I wasn't there, but she has, and no doubt she will blog about it (o no, it's got a sound track!). She was right proud of her rosettes. I'm glad I gave her the time to tell me all about it. In fact they all came individually to see me and had their little bit of time with me, after a weekend at daddy's, and after that went off and quietly went off and did their own thing for the rest of the evening, and got themselves ready for bed! I suppose they must have been tired after all that riding and swimming, but were quite calm- maybe I was calm when they came in- I was cooking my tea. Cooking always seems to make me calm for some reason ;-)
I had been having fairly pleasant weekend, which involved a lot of sitting round drinking coffee, and sitting around drinking beer (in small bottles). Last night I saw a rock covers band, which was saved from being an awful boy-fun noise fest by Antonius's voice and personality.

I filled out and sent off the school application forms, my extreme tardiness of this indicating my lack of enthusiasm for the whole thing. But I seem to have talked myself into this stage of the process, still being of a very divided mind about it. Maybe I am just trying to acknowledge my own limitations, and the fact that I have been finding it hard enough having the responsibility of being a single parent, let alone the whole Home education thing.
Yes, they do go to daddy's for 48 hours, every 14 days, plus a weekday night, for 14 hours-and-five-minutes precisely every week, as long as daddy hasn't got something more important to do. But I don't feel supported, I still feel the full responsibility of them, somehow. I actually got into a bit of a state about it on Friday night, when I wrongly hoped that this weekend might be an entire weekend, ie, till Monday morning perhaps, since it's a Bank Holiday....only to find that this wasn't at all possible or negotiable in any shape or form. So I dropped off the neatly packaged boys in their neatly allocated time-slot. I find this more unbearable than if I had them 24/7.
And I have done this before, remember, except Meg went to school, and I went to work, and there was only one of her. I find myself begging for an extra snippet of time for myself, as it would be perfectly reasonable, and do-able, and always getting the absolute refusal. Like he can use that power against me. Well, I'd rather send them to school, than have them used in that way, I'm sorry. if I really need more time for myself I'd rather not have to beg for it and be accused of using their own father as a "bloody babysitter". (Sorry, but only Joy, out of the 3 of them, that can read and it was me her that told me this).

Yes, and while I'm at it (saying things about the children I don't want them to hear!) I was talking to someone today that I don't know well, but who seems to know about this stuff, about Fergus and how I don't know how he will manage at school. I didn't realise how much she knew at the time and when she asked why I just said I thought he was dyslexic, or at least I knew he was a late reader, and how could he manage in a system that is based around being able to read by 8? So, out came her professional expertise and she asked me a few questions and told me it sounded more like ASD, and he could have a Weshler? test at the doctor if he wasn't at school. I did find this vaguely distaurbing, but was open to finding out more about it, especially since my friend, D know quite a bit about it because of her job and her son, who gets on with Fergus really well. I suppose the thing that bothers me the most is that actually Fergus is fine and as far as I'm concerned is a "normal" and lovely little boy. No, really, he is. He actually relates to me more than any of my other children, I think. He just can't read and write, and doesn't want to, and doesn't like big crowds, and doesn't want to go to school (I get the midwitch cuckoo big blue-eyed stare every time it's mentioned!), and has an incredible concentration span for listening to stories and watching videos, etc, and can focus really well on one thing, if it's something he wants to do....I think he relates to adults perfectly well; it's children, especially those who are behaving in a particularly brattish way, that he finds difficult to handle...but then, don't we all. But isn't school full of unreasonably behaved little people? I wouldn't want to be in that environment, so why would he? And anyway, what's with calling people ASD? I mean, he's not a problem to me- the only problem I have it that I worry that he spends too much time on the computer and feel I have to restrict his time on it, (because it's bad for your eyes, posture etc) and wish I didn't have to do that. Maybe if I understood more I wouldn't worry. But...
anyway, I'll have to leave it at that for now.... things to do, eg sleep...

horse show

Well I was gonna blog about Joy's first horse show on Sunday but it's all here really. Here's a few pics, anyway.

We got pretty cold watching, but it brightened up later for the barbeque and bonfire we went to in the evening.

We've been for a few walks down by the river this week with the dog. The water's really raging at the moment and the beach is hardly there at all.

No, I'm not feeling very chatty at the moment- just got stood up for a meal-date, ie, I spent hours cooking, getting the kids in bed early, not letting Joy go on a late hack, all to be asked can we do it tomorrow? (this was still on at 6.30, when I was already cooking). Hmm? Well, I ate it and it was very nice, thankyou. Grr, tried really hard not to get cross and still haven't said yes to tomorrow. O the boys helped me tidy up, too! So there's a bonus, I suppose. Do I have any chocolate?

There are other issues on my mind, too, like the looming school year coming up. I thought it was settled- just Joy was going. Then I had an email from the Montessori school- there may or may not be any places between now and forever, just as vague as the state entry system. There are lots of reasons why I am considering sending them to school, having to earn money not being one of them at the moment. Well, actually, no, it's just me- I don't seem to be doing very well with my head still. Still very unsettled. Not that that's gonna solve anything like, but at least they won't have to be around me all day. Don't get me wrong - I'm not horrible to them- just aren't anything to them- I just shut myself off- yeah, my body's there, making toast and stuff, and sweeping the floor. Just kinda sad really. Not sure why.

remember me?

Ok, well we have been a busy of late, what with the Fringe, etc, which I shall blog about here when I get round to it. But there has been some other stuff going on in our lives as well. Here are some of the highlights...


Theres been Calderdale pulling the plug on Joy's stabling experience: "no-one under 13 is allowed to groom a horse"... they need work permits now. This was pretty devastating news, but the stables are starting a pony club to find a way round the regulations.


there's been a wet summer solstice round a bonfire

...with fire twirling


There's been a 21st birthday

...featuring Meg Munroe
And we spend this week at Grandma's, looking after her, playing where I used to play,
...cycling and talking to horses
and of course lots of homework. There might be more about this later.

Mayday Monday

We went for a lovely long walk on the moors in the hazy sunshine. Freddie screamed "I want to go home" for the first fifteen minutes and then got into it.
Joy did her usual riding thing
We dug a hole for the frog pond

Me and Jimbob trying to learn a song.

happy valentines

Joy was up at the stables all day again we had a relaxed day with the boys at home. I was awoken by Freddie presenting me with a card he had made at Daddy's. When I got up he listed all the work he wanted to do today, which involved various kinds of collages. He must have enjoyed the sticking session we had at the Hebden Group yesterday, making Valentine's cards.

So we did an "R" collage, with a rhino, raspberries, red and roses; a sponge heart print (he had obviously been saving the heart-shaped sponges salvaged from Meg's bathroom box for such an occasion, though he didn't once mention that it was Valentine's day).
We also had a go at some monoprinting using a cotton bud to draw on the paint covered acetate.

Fergus did a dinasaur collage with tropical leaf background.

They played on computers for the rest of the afternoon and Dawn and Ro came round for a play/chat/tea. Dawn sang her latest song in the kitchen, which was lovely, and took some of my photo's of Callis for the LILO conference at CAT.

Joy was bushed when she came back- she was running round the paddock leading someone on a pony trotting when I arrived. She galloped yesterday, too. She's up there all day tomorrow, too; she's really enjoying it.

When I got them all to bed Nick cooked me a lovely meal and then decided to cash in his brownie points by indulging in his favourite pastime: WoW, which I don't mind, (although Meg said it should be banned on Valentine's), I think he's made a really good effort, plus it gives me time to blog, etc.

just a quick hello

Hi, I haven't really had time to blog and the pc I usually use is still being mended after not quite surviving the move intact. And basically, I am a bit out of the habit of things, and finding a time and a place for everything in our new life.
Anyway, briefly... today we went out in the garden and madly hacked away at some of the overgrown bushes with shears and started to clear a place for a firepit. Miffy had another litter- o dear! we must have about 12 rabbits!
After tea I cut down one of the old wooden venetian blinds for the bay window- 2 up, one to go. They look great, and I was told it couldn't be done, but you know me: dogged determination... I used Milly's hacksaw for the metal bit and a big wood saw for the slats, which I had bound together with parcel tape. Unfortunately I have to cut 2cm of the other one before I put it up, but at least I know it can be done. But, for now my arms are really tired!
Meanwhile the boys played at making robots from all the bits of wood and cardboard boxes that were lying around. But I had to tidy it all up before I came upstairs as the room was a complete mess!
Yesterday we didn't go out and they did lots of jigsaws, plus a bit of phonics (collage of things beginning with "e" sound- quite challenging, but they did really well). I made a phonics board- I'll have to show you- much easier than describing. Joy decided to do a large horse alphabet, ie a picture of something to do with horses for each letter of alphabet.
Last week I was too tired to do anything much- I think it all hit me 2 weeks after moving and I took it easy for 4 days. I did manage to get rid of nearly all the big boxes, though.
We seem to be having a great time in our new house. It's such a relief to be finally here.

sad day

All was not well at Allswell farm today. I had a phonecall from Joy, hours before she was due to return from helping out with the horses. Arnie, her favourite pony, which she rides, got kicked by a mare and broke his leg. There was nothing they could do, apparently, so here is Joy saying goodbye to Arnie. It was so sad.

Later on we went up to the new house and ripped out carpets and Meg moved some stuff in from her friend's where she was staying before.

Michelle took Joy and Fergus down to the Hebden Bonfire and Freddie and I watched the fireworks from Fred's bedroom window, with Dave, who came for tea and to give me some moral support. I am feeling a lot better now than I was.

Not sure if I'll have time to blog tomorrow and I will have no internet for four weeks after the move. Plus my phone number will change when it is eventually connected in two weeks. So hasta manana...

now it's autumn

This week seems to have gone by in a bit of a blur.

We had cosy days in by the fire. Fergus was ill and lolled around a lot and Joy got cabin fever.

We did make it up to Heptonstall on Monday for taichi and a bonfire in the graveyard.

We stayed at home most of the week, only venturing out to the market on Thursday and to rescue my car which had finally broken down on Wednesday night in Hedben while they were at their dad's. (They had a birthday celebration there, too.) We picked the car up from the garage on Friday, with new battery, with a lift from Milly. Yggy went horseriding with Joy but Bella was too tired to play with Freddie.

I had a lovely walk down through the woods with Michelle yesterday, where I communed with the nature spirits. I have fed the rabbits, but one of them is running around outside and I'm hoping it hasn't escaped as I'll get it when Joy gets home.

Last night I saw two women I know who live near the house I'm moving to and it was really nice because they were really excited about it. One of them is HE, one might be next year, and they both have kids the same age as the boys, plus they are both into creative stuff and textiles, etc. I also saw someone else on Friday night who was really pleased we were moving there as her daughter really needs a little girl who she can climb trees with! We did know all these people already, but I kind of didn't think of them as being so close even though they will be only on the next street, with only a snicket and a village green/allotments/play area in between them and our back gate. It's all so excting! Plus the lovely walk I went on yesterday came out just at the bottom of the snicket to our new house, so lovely river and woodland walks on our doorstep, really- what more could we want?

walk and play

On Tuesday afternoon we walked up to Michelle's to borrow Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (the *book*), and of course ended up round at Sarah's too, to play with Tom and Elli. I love this pic of my lovely friend Sarah, although it's blurry.

Sarah's chickens turned out to be four cocks and a hen.

The horses always follow you up and down the track to Sarah's, which I find a bit unnerving when I'm on my own, but Joy is quite at home with them.

They walked up by themselves and Michelle came down the track to meet them, so that was a bit of an adventure for them and I really enjoyed the walk up on my own.

One of my attempts of a famous three shot- my SIL has asked for some photos of the children to make into a calendar for my mum and only wants two from me (I have five siblings so that's two each) so I keep trying to get shots with as many as possible of the children in!

moving slowly

I really should get an early night, which would be the first one in at least two weeks, as I've a long day ahead tomorrow. But I just thought I should check in and spread my chirpiness throughout the world, as though tired I've had a generally good day and am feeling quite chipper (or is that just sleep deprivation making me too crazy to care?).
Anyway, I seemed to achieve a few things by continuing to move very slowly, still recovering from slightly hectic couple of days (yesterday probably didn't look that hectic on here, but it was 2am by the time I went to bed). We went shopping for more party stuff for tomorrow's BBQ. Not completely put away yet, but I did a little bit of tidying and looked everywhere for Joy's Judo thingy she needs for her grading on Sunday (found it). Just need to get firewood and tidy up a bit more and partify the house/garden, before making food. Joy went riding and had a really good time there today.
It seems like the house thing is back on now; still need to iron out a few details. I bumped into the lady selling us the house and she stopped for a chat and said to let her know when I wanted to go round to talk about what she's leaving. I managed to keep a fairly even smile and said I'd been busy with birthdays, etc.
Well, that seems to be it, actually. Except that I just found out that sitting cross-legged on a bench is not a good positiion for blog-reading. Must get some more ergonomic seating for these computers for the kids.

in the heather

We went on another lovely walk on Tuesday, up to other Sarah's. The heather was amazing: really vibrant and smelled so sweet.






Joy said hello to some of her horsey friends from the riding stables.

somewhere over the rainbow

Fergus spotted this lovely rainbow when he was eating his tea. (and listening to Go for it?)

From the kitchen door.

from down the track: O look at that lovely house!
Freddie said it was a pretty rainbow. Joy said she could see another band of colours underneath it.









We went up to Michelle's today in the car, as I was a bit tired and it was rainy. The boys watched Eragon while I sorted out the flat tyre, with some help. Joy helped out at the stables all day again.

changeable weather

They survived the night in the tent- all three of them, and I heard nothing after 9.30 till the happy voices morning.

Just before the heavans opened we decided to take down the tent. Freddie helped me.

Joy sat there saying, "can we go now?"... to riding of course.

It was chucking it down by the time we got there. What! whats that massive Viva Espana about? I thought the sign on the door saying Caballos was as much Spanishalia I coud take. You want to see it inside! (Gill might find this particularly appealing).

nothing untoward happened today

So, I have a day without the kids. So what am I doing? blogging in my pyjamas...


Yesterday I actually managed to beat my cold into submission and muster a bit of energy to finish redecorating Fergus's room.

Dave came up later to help me put Fergus's new (freecycle) bed together and we sort of managed the main part, even though there were no instructions. It was the ladder bit that got me stumped but I think I might be able to sus it if I look at the bunk bed which is now at Brendan's house.
Joy went riding after school and after I picked her up I took them straight down to daddy's house, on the wat to Tai chi.
So this was the scene outside the Trades Club at 12.30am. This is the first weekend of the smoking ban in pubs and it was really wierd: People that are usually to be seen at the Trades were in pub beer gardens or sitting outside The Shoulder. (I know because I was there, too: Melanie had rearranged our meeting place accordingly). She went home at about 11 and I went off to the Trades, where it was easy to get in, as there was a kind of all-night smokers party going on outside the door, as with some other places around town. Just after this, the normally placid guy who works there was shouting: You can't stand outside here with the door open! O dear, there's going to be trouble...

Joy went riding at her new time on Fridays.

Look at me, I'm spinning round.

potatoes

remember Construct-o-straws?

I laid some more quarry tiles.