O this is getting ridiculous

Well, I think all that sleep I had has let me in for another sleepless night. I only had 2 cups of tea today, well, 3, if you include the half cup of gunpowder I had before tea. I have stuff going round my head, see? And my nicotine quota is not nearly high enough. So here I am, with a sherry toddy, thinly disguised as a cup of chamomile tea, in front of my goldfish bowl window, not that anyone could see me apart from Jack, or anyone wandering round in Jack's garden at 2am. Not that I care- I got up the other night at midnight and realised I had left the patio doors wide open! I'm warming up my feet on the computer, that took ages to boot itself. So here I am with my friend the computer, watching this, and, you, lovely friends, the only ones who put up with my craziness. I just played a rendition of "Sweet sweet sugar" in the kitchen, (appropriately), which the kid's enjoyed earlier, not yet released, (watch out on youtube!) I was supposed to be playing at Open Mic Surgery tomorrow night, but I think my near deafness and bunged-upness might make for a poor performance, so I have postponed Brendan's babysitting.
I am pissed off because Dave's at his girlfriend's tonght, presumably, for the forth night in five days- he's practically living there now. And who's he trying to kid: "we're just friends", after everything that's happened, and the way he behaves when we're alone together. Well I'm afraid he's not going to have his cake and eat it any more (she says, trying to convince herself: how many times have I been here before?). He says one thing and does another. He's not in a committed relationship, he said. He just doesn't want to admit it to himself. O, god, I can't believe I'm blogging this: I'm just so pissed off with it now. I'm just putting up with crumbs from under the table as I've been starved of affection for so long. O no, I can feel another song coming on... no, not yet, I need to get a handle on this. Actually I'm alright. I'm probably more allright than I have been for a long time. This needed to happen. I think I was so afraid of being on my own, but didn't want to admit it to myself. But it's OK, see.