OK, I'm sure you're all getting a bit bored with my midnight ramblings, well, don't worry I think I will sleep tonight, very soon. I'm a lot more settled about stuff than I was earlier, having had it out with Dave: I had to see him at the AGM, and I was very frosty, but I never seem to be able to keep this up very long with him, especially when he's caught my cold (he he). I think I managed to say everything on my mind. Not at the AGM, obviously, but afterwards when he found me in the park, with Kelly, and then afterwards when I phoned him, as I hadn't quite finished. I was very honest and clear about my feelings and I think I will have to leave it at that and not see him for a couple of weeks. Well, I have got a lot to do, anyway...
No-one came to the home-ed meeting apart from me and the boys, who made birthday cards for Meg, painted and looked at books, which was pretty good going as I had to leave them to it when the AGM started. Someone commented that they might get really bored and cover all our notes with snot, but I pointed out it was more likely to be me who did that. Kelly came along for moral support, after I phoned her, and inadvertantly joined the commitee.
Afterwards I met Joy and we all went to the park, where Kelly joined us with her Brendan. It was no-where near as busy as last Wednesday evening, for some reason, a bit of chill in the air, but still really sunny and pleasant, mind you I was in my coat and hat and scarf, due to my cold.
This evening Joy went to Judo, where there was some kind of masterclass with an olympic medal winner called [I've got no idea nor interest in his name and neither do you]. I think she enjoyed it though. I think she will get quite into Judo, and wants to go to a second calss on a Thursday eve too.
I saw Meg briefly, at her friend's house, where she has all her stuff. She is not coming home till tomorrow night. I got a pang when she told me there was nothing to come home for as she had already moved out and is not prepared to move back in while we wait to sell the house. Well. I will have a spare room then. She looked quite tired, and with a peeling nose, after her trip back from Glastonbury, I'm sure she'll tell me all about it in her own time. O, this would be so hard if I didn't have the other kids.
Yes, lots to do: I have ordered a load of paint from my friend's fiance, who works for a paint company, and who's ear I bent for half an hour, filling him in on the latest, in lieu of her, as she wasn't in, but she came back, so I got to do it all over again! Gosh, must sort out my phone tarriff so I get free calls: note to self...but I just don't understand all those different tarrifs and packages you get nowadays. But this is part of the disempowerment I got from being in a 10 year relationship where someone else does everything like that (however badly) so I never had to look at a phonebill so never kept up to speed with the latest ways of doing things. (I only got involved when the phone got cut off, which happened regularly). Funny thing is, now it's in my name I'm on the phone more than ever and the bill is through the roof- I must sort it out.
So thats 2 things:
paint
phone bill
and...
sort through box of paperwork (again!)
sort out fireplace- priority- may take time
return plastic boxes to Dawn- tomorrow
Sort out light fittings- Brendan will do this tomorrow night?
Do something for Meg's birthday: present? party?
remember I have children
remember I have friends
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6 comments:
You are getting there just keep that self determination burning.
don't beat yourself about the phone tariff thing. Some of us who *have* been paying attention get horribly confused by it too :)
Phone tariffs are designed to confuse and befuddle, and they make it worse by giving them stupid animal names which bare no relation to anything whatsoever, thus adding to the confusion ;-)
Sounds like you're clearing your head rather well btw - you might have to give me some pointers!
I've loved your midnight ramblings...you know, the way you are writing about what is happening is making it read brilliantly..so even if you feel like your life is falling apart..well, it doesn't look like that....
Hmm..about man trouble (what else can we call it?)...really, sometimes I think they are neither use nor ornament. Am getting well shirty remembering that thing that they do about not being in a committed relationship...the old ones are the best.
I reckon you should ensnare him somehow.. sometimes I think men don't really know what they want. And besides...it seems like he is really drawn to you anyway and just needs a push in the right direction. I am not sure if I am being immoral or not, but this idea seems to strike me as the perfect solution;)
No .. on second thoughts..I am being immoral, just that I tend to get all predatory about men and tend to see them as wild and wandering (sometimes witless) beasts that need to be caught and shown the perimeters of a committed relationship so they can begin to trust. ("Sit! Trust! Clever!").
I hope that somehow you can get it together with him because your strength of feeling for him seems to be well founded..and he sounds like a very kindly man.
See this is where I've always gone wrong...
"just that I tend to get all predatory about men and tend to see them as wild and wandering (sometimes witless) beasts that need to be caught and shown the perimeters of a committed relationship so they can begin to trust. ("Sit! Trust! Clever!")."
I just haven't got the patience!
Hiya Rosie xx from one who has no phone tariff or mobile phone despite being (mostly) single for the past 10 years!
Mm, yes, interesting, what you say, EF, I think that may be my long term plan, but I think a little frosty treatment is just what he needs at the moment to make him realise what he's missing- I think it's the only option left for me, anyway, besides becoming a stalker. I just have to sate strong.
I think with the phone tarrifs, what I was trying to get my head round was why is my phone bill so high? Is it better to phone a mobile on my mobile? and what the heck is "BT together option 1" and do I really need "BT broadband option 3, unlimited anytime" instead of a seperate internet account.. more later...
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